Dating is hard, no matter who you are. Some people struggle to find any dates at all. Others come by them easily but can’t seem to make a genuine connection. By and large, many Americans report being frustrated by a dating-app culture that promised to make things easier but, in most cases, has not. If you’re someone who’s fresh off a divorce, you’re playing on hard mode. It can all feel a little hopeless.

But it shouldn’t. One social media user is going viral for taking a stand: She said dating divorced men has led to some of the best dating experiences of her life. And she’s not the only one.

Artist and musician Kady Brown caused a stir on Threads recently when she shared her controversial opinion:

“Dating a divorced man has been one of the most agreeable dating experiences of my life. It makes sense but I don’t think I expected that. It’s like he has relational basics like consideration, accountability, and resolution skills down in a way I haven’t always seen in single (never married) men without asking or explaining. It’s kind of lit … and very attractive”

Hundreds of people chimed in to agree.

“Yes. I love my men pre-yelled at,” one joked.

“Second wife perks. His first wife molded him. The second reaps the benefits,” another added.

“Certified preowned…but seriously he already been thru the trenches…learned some lessons…understands dynamics…and overstands communication and consideration,” a commenter noticed.

“I agree. He’s taught me that I’m not as good with communication as I thought I was. It’s been refreshing,” another wrote.

@iamalilizzi Honestly, almost didn’t date him cause of how soon he had just gotten divorced, but I helped him heal and now we are spending the rest of our lives together 🥹 #relationshipgoals #relationshipproblems #recentlydivorced #newlymarried ♬ Disturbia GTTG remix – GTTG

Honestly, almost didn’t date him cause of how soon he had just gotten divorced, but I helped him heal and now we are spending the rest of our lives together 🥹 #relationshipgoals #relationshipproblems #recentlydivorced #newlymarried ♬ Disturbia GTTG remix – GTTG

Divorce is not generally considered a good thing. But there can be a bright side.

Few people are happy about the failure of a marriage they had hoped would last a lifetime. Interestingly, many people do not report feeling happier after ending a conflict-fueled marriage. But in certain situations, it can be the right move for all parties involved.

Like any breakup, a divorce can be a tremendous opportunity to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person. According to Psychology Today, people who have been honest about their role in the split, taken the opportunity to discover what they want out of a partner and out of life, and allowed enough time to heal can become terrific partners to someone new down the road.

But as many commenters on Brown’s post pointed out, not everyone will take that path.

“[Maybe] he just got good at masking the parts on himself that likely ran the last woman away,” one commenter wrote.

“I fell in love with a divorced man. Later, I realized he was just parroting what his ex wife and ex girlfriend had they wanted and he was lacking,” someone added.

“Ok but anecdotally, some divorced men are just teenagers who will never realize they’re the reason all their relationships are burnt bridges, smoldering stacks of self-centered arrogance,” wrote another commenter.

The “good ones” are out there

Laura Bonarrigo, a divorce and life coach, said the same is true for anyone who finds themselves dating a woman who’s been through a divorce.

The “good ones,” she wrote, are out there in spades, and dating one can be a massively refreshing experience after the unpredictability, flakiness, and ghosting of modern dating.

“There’s accountability in the way she reflects on her history, and rather than reenacting old wounds, she’s choosing to build something healthier moving forward,” she added. “Instead of clinging, chasing, or disappearing only to resurface with flimsy explanations, she moves through dating in a steady and predictable way. Reliability matters to her. She’s looking for a connection that feels mutual, grounded, and emotionally safe, not a dynamic filled with mixed signals or chaos.”

Whether this outcome requires growing up, therapy, a period of focusing on self-improvement, or just some time, it’s safe to say that divorced people bring more than just “baggage” to the dating scene. There’s a heavy stigma against divorced folks, who are often viewed as failures or damaged, but it’s steadily getting better—partly thanks to voices like Brown’s, who are willing to challenge that outdated notion head-on.

Music, community and joy drive real change

In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin. 

It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest. 

The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn? 

Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.

Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world. 

Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends. 

Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.

A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission

Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education. 

But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities. 

The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere. 

You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.

Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil

In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country. 

“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says. 

But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.

Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model. 

“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.” 

Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria 

In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms. 

​​“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?” 

When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.

Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.

To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”

“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”  

From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.

Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.

You’ve heard of dinner dates, coffee dates, and movie dates. But what about grocery runs? Or walking your dog around the block until it gets tired and no longer has the zoomies? That’s the idea behind choremancing, the 2026 dating trend that turns to-do lists into opportunities for love connections—one errand at a time.

“Choremance” is a term coined by the dating app Plenty of Fish in its ninth annual dating trends report. The word is a portmanteau, blending “chore” and “romance” to describe a simple concept: combining a date with the everyday tasks you need to do. Think grocery shopping, walking the dog, or even doing laundry.

In its survey of nearly 6,000 singles, Plenty of Fish found that in 2025, 42% of respondents were already choremancing in their own lives, whether they were familiar with the term or not. This trend is far from niche—it’s a cultural shift.

But what’s driving this trend? And will it stick around after the novelty wears off? Let’s explore why choremancing is so popular right now, what science says about bonding over mundane tasks, and when this trend might spell doom for your relationship.

The rise of low-pressure dating

Somewhere between swiping fatigue and the pressure of planning the “perfect” first date, something in the dating world cracked. A growing number of singles—particularly Millennials and Gen Z—have grown tired of the performative side of dating: the carefully curated profile, the buzzy restaurant reservation, the rehearsed talking points that make you look cool and totally not damaged by your ex. All of it can feel exhausting before you even shake hands. 

In its survey of 1,000 singles, Arrows (a modern matchmaking service) found that 65% of respondents are done with high-pressure first dates and prefer low-key meetups centered around everyday tasks. The numbers don’t lie: young singles today crave connections that feel natural.

Eva Gallagher, a resident expert for Plenty of Fish, put it this way: 

“What we’re seeing for 2026 is a real shift in mindset. Trends like Choremance and Love Bubbling show that people are no longer waiting for the perfect moment; they’re making everyday experiences meaningful and embracing connection wherever it shows up. There’s a growing confidence amongst singles, and that optimism is exactly what gives people hope in their dating lives.”

“What we’re seeing for 2026 is a real shift in mindset. Trends like Choremance and Love Bubbling show that people are no longer waiting for the perfect moment; they’re making everyday experiences meaningful and embracing connection wherever it shows up. There’s a growing confidence amongst singles, and that optimism is exactly what gives people hope in their dating lives.”

The shift toward casual dating has been brewing for a long time. Authenticity is no longer a buzzword; it’s a real priority. When you meet someone at a farmers’ market in your worn-out blue jeans and the stained T-shirt you got in middle school after qualifying for the regional spelling bee, it’s harder to keep your social mask on than at, say, a cocktail bar downtown. That’s the point.

The psychology of boring

There’s a scientific reason why doing chores together can make you feel closer to someone. When you cooperate on a shared task, your brain releases oxytocin, a chemical that helps people bond. The effects become even stronger when the activity involves working together in close proximity. Completing an errand—like finding the best, perfectly ripe avocados at the grocery store—creates a shared sense of accomplishment, and your brain links that positive experience to the person you’re with.

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Shared routines build consistency and familiarity, which our brains interpret as safety. This sense of security is essential for deeper emotional vulnerability, meaning that, yes, doing the dishes together might open the door to conversations that a romantic candlelit dinner might not.

And it’s not just a hunch—the research agrees. Daniel Carlson, a sociologist at the University of Utah, discovered that couples who shared three or more household tasks reported greater relationship satisfaction than those who divided the chores. A study from Brigham Young University found something similar: the way couples did housework mattered more than who did what. It was the quality of their teamwork, not just how they divided the work, that made all the difference.

Dr. Bruce Y. Lee, a contributor to Psychology Today, put it best:

“Through chores, you can see how both of you handle a little work and potential challenges. You can see who a person really is—helpful, adaptable, and resourceful versus selfish, inflexible, and easily frazzled.”

The case against choremancing

Before you cancel every dinner date on your calendar, there are a few cautions about choremancing you should know.

The Guardian highlighted a key tension in the trend: while choremancing can be a great compatibility test, it could also be a “horrible indictment of the societal pressures that have transformed love into yet another tick-box on a constantly updating to-do list.” That’s a critique with some merit.

Psychologist Lordy Santos told PhilSTAR L!fe that, with choremancing, people may “begin to treat productivity or practicality as the sole metric for determining romantic compatibility,” thereby completely sidelining emotional connection or attraction. 

Another caution: don’t get too comfortable. While choremancing creates casual, low-stakes dating opportunities, sometimes you still want to dress up, put on your best unstained clothes, and eat at a fancy restaurant. It’s nice to feel like someone planned a date for you. Dating should feel intentional, too.

In short, choremancing should complement intentional quality time, not substitute for it. Research also shows that relationships still need novelty, planned dates, and genuine fun to thrive. Yes, shared errands build familiarity, but shared adventures build memories. Both are essential for a healthy partnership.

Top choremancing activities to try

Ready to give choremancing a shot? Data from Plenty of Fish found that the most popular activities for sparking a connection are walking (52%), running errands (51%), and grocery shopping (41%). If you’re looking for more ideas, here are a few other activities to consider:

Cook a meal together: Sharing the whole process—from the Trader Joe’s run to the finished product—makes it a flirty and fun joint effort.

Visit a farmers’ market: A low-pressure outing with fresh air, plus plenty of sensory details to spark easy, natural conversations.

Meal prep for the week: A practical and collaborative task that can reveal a lot about your priorities and lifestyle habits. And even if the date goes poorly, at least you’ll wind up with a week’s worth of food.

Browse a thrift store or bookstore: A relaxed and exploratory way to learn about the other person’s tastes and sense of humor.

Tackle a small DIY project: Assembling furniture or mounting a television is a great way to test your teamwork, communication skills, and patience.

Go for a walk: Movement helps reduce social anxiety and awkwardness, allowing conversation to feel more organic.

Run errands together: A quick trip to the post office or dry cleaner can be surprisingly fun and revealing.

The key to all of these activities is that they serve a primary goal: connection. The errand is simply the vehicle, not the destination.

Finding the delicate balance

Choremancing isn’t a replacement for traditional romance; it’s an expansion of it. The healthiest relationships have a balance of both: the “everyday togetherness” of shared tasks and the “intentional dates” that remind you why you fell for each other in the first place.

Perhaps the truest definition of compatibility isn’t found across a candlelit table, but in the simple ease of an ordinary Tuesday. Give it a try. You might be surprised by what you learn from a simple trip to the grocery store.

After years of photographing soon-to-be-married couples, wedding photographer Ona Vicente says she can spot the “surefire” signs a relationship won’t last simply by going off the “vibes” of the photoshoot.

“You spend enough time with couples, you develop a spidey-sense,” she says in a TikTok video.

These red flags include: being dressed to go to “two completely different places,” when one spouse refuses to take off a piece of clothing (a coat, for example) for at least one shot, having constant arguments over “small stuff,” making fun of each other “in a mean way,” and getting verbally or physically aggressive.

What do these “red flags”mean?

All of these signs point to an unhealthy communication dynamic, which can undermine one of the most important keys to a lasting relationship: healthy communication. After all, Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, has famously said he can predict with over 90% accuracy whether couples will stay together or divorce simply by analyzing their communication patterns.

@onavicente Replying to @George signs I know as an engagement and wedding photographer, that your relationship won’t last #dating #photographer #wlw #weddingphotographer #relationships ♬ original sound – Oniii

Replying to @George signs I know as an engagement and wedding photographer, that your relationship won’t last #dating #photographer #wlw #weddingphotographer #relationships

As psychotherapist Eliza Davis explains, couples who have healthy communication can “navigate misunderstandings” and high-pressure situations, such as a wedding shoot, because they know how to “repair” after conflict. In one of Vicente’s scenarios, that might look like instantly knowing to apologize and reset the tone after saying something snippy.

Cheryl Groskopf, an anxiety and trauma therapist, points out that even healthy couples may find themselves acting more hostile toward one another in “emotionally loaded environments.”

“Stress isn’t personal,” she tells Upworthy. “When people are overwhelmed, the brain shifts into survival mode. The prefrontal cortex, aka the part responsible for patience and thoughtful communication, gets quieter, while the threat-detection system gets louder. That’s why someone might sound sharper than usual or seem short-tempered. It’s often physiology, not intention.”

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How couples can navigate high-stress situations

That said, couples can help mitigate these tiffs by building in “small regulation moments,” suggests Groskopf.

“When the schedule is packed, people forget to pause,” she adds. “Even something as simple as stepping aside together for a few breaths, holding hands for a moment, or sharing a quick joke can reset the nervous system. These micropauses help your body move out of stress mode and back toward connection.”

In a subsequent video, Vicente shares that she’s seen plenty of “green flags” during her shoots as well, like reassuring one another during bouts of awkwardness, expressing the same level of enthusiasm while sharing their love story, being able to laugh with one another, and generally being on the “same page.”

@onavicente Replying to @CatchinupwithCath love radar green flag edition!! #wlw #dating #relationship #greenflag #weddingphotography ♬ original sound – Oniii

Replying to @CatchinupwithCath love radar green flag edition!! #wlw #dating #relationship #greenflag #weddingphotography

Vicente says couples who don’t display these traits shouldn’t consider themselves doomed; she was merely reflecting on patterns she’s witnessed. This is also reflected in how experts assess the health of a relationship—by looking at what patterns emerge. How often do bids for connection get recognized? What is the positivity-to-negativity ratio? Does feedback tend to result in curiosity or contempt?

No two people are perfect, and therefore no relationship is going to be perfect. But what really matters is how the two prioritize their connection with one another throughout all the inevitable twists and turns of life.

She wasn’t hard to please. She ate almost everything, loved most cuisines, and was perfectly comfortable sitting across from someone who ordered a drink with dinner. She had exactly two requests for a second date: somewhere that served food she could eat, and somewhere that wasn’t a bar. That’s it.

The story, shared in late January 2026 by Reddit user u/EquivalentOk6093, has been circulating widely because so many people recognize exactly what happened here. The 28-year-old woman had met a 38-year-old man through a dating app. Their first date went well enough, over coffee, and when they started planning a follow-up dinner, he offered to handle the reservations. She told him what he needed to know: she avoided red meat for health reasons, and she was a recovering alcoholic with nearly two years of sobriety. She wouldn’t be drinking. She was clear that she didn’t mind if he ordered something, but alcohol wasn’t on the table for her.

AITAH for canceling a date over the location? byu/EquivalentOk6093 inAITAH

The night before the planned date, he sent over his choices. The first was a cocktail lounge she’d never heard of. She looked it up. The menu offered a meat and cheese board, a pepperoni pizza, a burger, and a cheese pizza. One option she could eat. He then suggested they cap the evening at a nearby art-themed bar for a nightcap. Two venues. Both bars. No food she could meaningfully eat at either. No acknowledgment of anything she’d told him.

“At that point, I was honestly pretty thoroughly confused,” she wrote in her post.

She canceled. His response: “We’ll leave it at that.”

What made her story resonate with so many readers wasn’t the canceled date itself. It was her reasoning. She wasn’t angry, exactly. She was paying attention. A city full of restaurants, two stated needs, and he’d come back with two bars. To her, that gap between what she’d shared and what he’d planned felt less like an oversight and more like a signal. “I could tell he wasn’t testing my sobriety,” she clarified, “but he was kind of testing my willingness to put his preferences ahead of my own needs.” She doubted herself afterward, as many people do when they hold a line. But she came back to the same conclusion.

For people in recovery, the nuances of dating are genuinely complicated. Having to explain sobriety to a relative stranger, to distinguish between “I’m sober” and “I need you to change everything about your social life,” and to figure out whether someone’s choice of venue reflects carelessness or something more revealing, is exhausting work that doesn’t come up in most dating advice. As alcohol rehab resource AlcoholRehabHelp.org notes, experts recommend having authentic conversations about sobriety early, precisely so both people can figure out quickly whether they’re actually compatible.

The woman who posted this story wasn’t looking for someone to stop drinking on her behalf. She was looking for someone who listened. She mentioned in her post that her life was already full: a small business she’d built herself, good friends, hobbies she loved, her own home. “I am in no rush to settle down, especially for the wrong person,” she wrote.

The Reddit response was largely in her corner. Commenters pointed out that the bar selection wasn’t just inconsiderate; it also left her, practically speaking, with almost nothing to eat. A cheese pizza is not a dinner. The man’s terse sign-off, those four words, “We’ll leave it at that,” didn’t help his case.

Two simple needs. Hundreds of restaurants to choose from. And the two places he picked happened to be the two kinds of places she’d implicitly ruled out the week before. Sometimes a date doesn’t work out because of bad luck or mismatched chemistry. Sometimes the restaurant choices really do say it all.

@kate_garn Dating while sober #soberlife #soberdating #soberjourney #sobertok #fyp ♬ original sound – kate_garn

Dating while sober #soberlife #soberdating #soberjourney #sobertok #fyp

This article originally appeared earlier this year.

The world really doesn’t need to see any more hostile run-ins between people of different races. Of course, racism and hatred are very real issues, and ones that we must discuss in order to make progress. But with all the coverage of people behaving badly flooding our awareness through the media and online, it can be easy to write off humanity entirely. To believe that the world is inherently a divisive, dangerous, and ultimately declining place to live. When in reality, not everything is so bleak.

That’s what makes sharing this story so important.

In December of 2023, a Black woman named Jo’lee Shine was stuck in her overheated car in front of a stranger’s house, waiting for a tow truck to arrive.

When a white man, the homeowner, began approaching her, Jo’lee immediately started recording the interaction. And thank goodness she did, because this was a moment worth immortalizing.

“I’m so sorry, my car ran hot,” she says in the clip, and begins trying to start the car to prove her situation.

And then, in the sweetest southern accent you ever heard, we hear “don’t try to crank it baby.”

We then hear him offer to put water in the car, made sure Jo’lee had coming to pick her up, and then…wait for it…asked if she wanted lunch.

“We’ll be eating lunch shortly. While we wait on [the tow truck] if we get everything set up I’ll come get you and we’ll have dinner,” he says.

This brings Jo’lee to instant tears. “That was so sweet,” she whimpers.

With a chuckle, the man replies, “that’s the way we are.” he then shared how he just had 22 people over at his house the night before for “a family gathering.”

Jo’lee declines the lunch offer, but profusely thanks the kind stranger as she wipes the tears that continue to fall. Just before he goes, the man says that he’ll check back in, joking that the tow truck “might be delayed” and she might change her mind.

In her caption, Jo’lee wrote, “I wasn’t going to post this, but I wanted people to know that they’re still good people in this world.”

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Seems like that mission was accomplished. The video, which has gotten over 176,000 likes on Instagram, gave everyone a little dose of hope. Just take a look at some of these lovely comments:

“This is who we are…it sucks that movies have put fear in people to that level. That makes me sad that there’s fear and division keeping us all from sharing love that I KNOW is in all of us.”

“The media works to divide us, don’t believe their lies. We love all people.. God Bless.”

“I’ll come get you when we get dinner on the table?!!” ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ”

“The way he called you baby without a mean tone in his soul.”

“This renews my faith in humanity. He tried to help her without any thought of race.”

“Just when we think humanity has died, this happens ♥️. Human kindness for the win.”

Indeed, the world has its’ Karens…and even worse characters. But it also has people who invite strangers to dinner, just because it’s a nice thing to do…because it’s the “way they are.” It’s the way a lot of us are, when we let ourselves be.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they’re good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child’s life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother’s face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what’s okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—”Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!” the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, “No, no kissy. No kissy ’cause I’m coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?”

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. “Okay, hey! High five!” he said, while holding up his hand. “High five ’cause we’re all done!” She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Teaching boundaries to children byu/alucard_axel inMadeMeSmile

His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

“So sweet… I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it’s so cute but you do have to tell them “no” because it’s an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!”

“On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses.”

“The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example.”

“It sounds like he’s got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it’s important to gently guide them in understanding what’s suitable.”

“I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole.”

“The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!”

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it’s frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it’s helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn’t all fall on the parents.

In an article titled “Teaching Kids About Boundaries: Why empathy and self awareness play a major role,” Child Mind Institute includes a helpful video about teaching boundaries to children, and it confirms that the coach handled things in exactly the right way. In a section entitled “Rules work both ways,” the institute notes that when people model their boundaries, it’s important for children to empathetically listen. “People are in charge of their own bodies,” writes Rae Jacobson, author of the article and senior editor at the Child Mind Institute, “and it’s not okay to touch them if they don’t want you to, just like it’s not okay for someone to touch [you] in a way you don’t like.” By calmly modeling his boundaries, the swim coach gave his young swimmer a gentle but clear message about what was and was not okay and embodied both empathy and autonomy for her in a way she can understand and mirror when she’s older.

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they’re good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child’s life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother’s face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what’s okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—”Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!” the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, “No, no kissy. No kissy ’cause I’m coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?”

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. “Okay, hey! High five!” he said, while holding up his hand. “High five ’cause we’re all done!” She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Teaching boundaries to children byu/alucard_axel inMadeMeSmile

Teaching boundaries to children byu/alucard_axel inMadeMeSmile

His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

“So sweet… I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it’s so cute but you do have to tell them “no” because it’s an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!”

“On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses.”

“The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example.”

“It sounds like he’s got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it’s important to gently guide them in understanding what’s suitable.”

“I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole.”

“The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!”

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it’s frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it’s helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn’t all fall on the parents.

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

This article originally appeared in January

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