It’s always hard to talk about death. Even thinking about it makes many of us uncomfortable at best, filled with dread and terror at worst. When we get the terrible news that someone we know—a loved one, a friend, a colleague, even an acquaintance—is dying, most of us are at a complete loss for words.

Viral video asks people with terminal illness how to talk about death

A recent Instagram Reel from ABC Australia asks people suffering from terminal conditions: “How to respond when someone is dying” and “What should people say when they hear the news?”

It’s a surprisingly thorny topic, and it’s easy for even the most empathetic and well-meaning people to go astray.

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The most common flubs, according to the people who know

“Well, obviously, they just immediately say ‘I’m so sorry,’ you know, ‘How sad,’” one of the women being interviewed said. “And then I think they’re lost for words.”

From there, we begin to reach for something productive or supportive to say, all the while being overcome with emotion. It leads to some encounters that the dying don’t always find comforting.

“Pity is the thing you fear the most in people,” the woman said.

Empathy, sympathy, compassion, and........

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