Though we’ve all had to fake a smile at times, it doesn't feel good to receive or give one. Some have gotten so good at offering fake smiles that others may begin to wonder if a person’s smile is ever genuine. To put this worry to bed, a body language expert explains the tell that can separate the genuinely happy from the passively polite.

Vanessa Van Edwards went on TikTok to share how to tell if someone is faking their smile. Van Edwards recommends not looking at a person’s mouth when they’re smiling, but to look at the top half of their face. In the video, she explains that a genuine smile doesn’t just reveal itself in the mouth, but in the upper cheeks and eyes. A person who is genuinely smiling has a noticeable “lift” in both their upper cheeks and the outward corners of their eyes, as if those parts of the face are also smiling alongside the mouth. A fake smile is very much concentrated on moving the mouth upward with little to no change in the upper half of the face.

@vvanedwardsThis Is How You Know A Smile Is Real!

This Is How You Know A Smile Is Real!

“If you can’t see a real smile on the top half of the face, it’s not a real smile,” said Van Edwards.

Van Edwards then notes that if you spot a fake smile it could be an opportunity to “dig a little deeper.”

How should you respond to a fake smile?

There are many reasons someone might fake a smile. While the fake is meant for deception, it’s not necessarily for malicious reasons. Maybe they want to hide their disappointment that you got the promotion and they didn’t. Maybe they don’t like the food you brought to the potluck, but they like you and want to spare your feelings. Maybe they just had a terrible day but don’t want to ruin the mood. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all. Even with all that considered there are some folks who can still convincingly fake a smile anyway.

@2000sindiethe killers (2004)

“The challenge with fake smiles is the cause can be from a variety of things,” facial analysis expert Brian Galke told Upworthy. “Some people were raised in environments where they were told to have a smile on their face no matter what was going on.”

So, how should you respond to a fake smile? There’s no true one and done answer. Everything depends on the situation and how well you know the fake smiler. If you are good friends with them, you may want to privately ask them if there's something wrong. If there is or was, you have an opportunity to turn that fake smile into a real one. That’s not always necessary or recommended though.

“If you do feel that someone is outright faking their smile for protection and it's not a sales situation, then it's okay to mention the observation,” said Galke. “Make it non-judgmental by saying things like ‘It seems like _____’ and stay away from ‘why’ questions which sound judgmental. The key is to simply mention the observation to crack the door open in case they are ready to talk.”

A fake smile usually isn’t an intentional insult or harmful deception in most cases. It could be best to just take the fake smile as you would a regular one even if you clock it. After all, while they’re hiding something, it’s usually in the name of being polite, defusing potential tension, and overall wanting you to like them.

if you receive a fake smile, remember it has nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with them and their mood. There have been studies, articles, and reports that say that the act of smiling, even if it’s fake, can help a person boost their mood over time. In short, the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” applies to smiling. So, if a person throws a fake smile in your direction, it could be in the hope for it to turn into a real one the next time you see them.

@mydaily.krystalSometimes when feeling low, I like to smile to help me boost my mood 🫶🏻 A #sahm #sahmlife #lowmood #depression #mentalhealthmatters

Sometimes when feeling low, I like to smile to help me boost my mood 🫶🏻 A #sahm #sahmlife #lowmood #depression #mentalhealthmatters

“Studies show that when we smile we are seen as more confident, attractive. Smiling also releases endorphins that reduce stress and due to mirror neurons when someone else smiles we want to smile which releases our own endorphins,” said Galke.

While knowing how to spot a fake smile can be a great tool to have, consideration is recommended with what you do with that information.

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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers. “Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

The benefits of getting a good night's sleep are too vast to name. Sleep is as essential for our brains as food and water are for our bodies. If you're not getting enough, sleeping better has been shown to elevate your mood, improve your memory, and even boost your physical health. And then there's the obvious: when you don't sleep well, you'll have less energy and generally perform worse on tasks that require any kind of effort or thought.

However, we're all human, and, sometimes, humans sleep terribly. Your infant might wake you up, or a car alarm might go off outside, interrupting your regularly-scheduled REM. It's not always our fault when we don't sleep well, but there might be an interesting way to fix it.

A study from 2014 may have demonstrated the existence of something called "placebo sleep," or tricking your brain into believing you slept better than you did.

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