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This is a work of fiction. Although it may appear closer to reality than fiction for some.

Singed by the clumsiness that attended, first, the online release and then the abrupt and sudden withdrawal of Satluj, the Competent Authority has established a new procedure for the exhibition of films. Before a motion picture can be screened for the public on any platform – and regardless of whether it is submitted for clearance by the Central Board of Film Certification or not – it will be mandatory for it to be viewed and cleared by a group of Bharatiya historians, cultural nationalists and religious scholars.

In their first meeting in Nagpur on Sunday, July 12, the newly constituted Chalchitra Parishilan Samiti has given its verdict against three creative productions.

A summary of the minutes is being submitted for the information of the relevant departments and ministries.

Film: Chori-Chori (2026)

A purported remake of the 1956 classic that starred Nargis and Raj Kapoor, its producers are registered as Satyamevajayate Productions. The remake introduces two new faces—Khoobsoorat Kapoor and Ayyar Khan—in the lead. The two are cast in the role of elegant yoga instructors running a high-end ashram but are essentially swindlers, pretending to combine yoga, meditation and Hindu religiosity. It cuts too close to the bone to be funny.

The most objectionable scenes, from our point of view, are in the rain-dance carnival in the city square where a huge billboard can be seen in the frame, showing the opposition’ slogan:

Pahle vote chori, Phir seat chori, Ab, Chanda Chori

For no rhyme or reason, the camera seems to linger on these three........

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