I went out to lunch with a friend a few weeks ago. We often talk about a range of topics. Toward the end, we drifted into one we both knew we should avoid. It got heated and maybe a little personal. Then we had to leave.

Before we walked out, my friend gave me a hug and said, “I love you, man.”

Here is a definition of love and hate I learned from Rav Noach Weinberg. A person has many traits, some good and some bad. Love is identifying the person with his good traits. Hate is identifying him with his bad traits. The whole person is there either way. What changes is which part you treat as the real him.

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