I write a lot about joy. The joys of being Jewish, the joys of being in Israel. Making aliyah is the most exciting and joyful thing I’ve ever done but there’s a difficult side to these first few months of aliyah which has been slightly unexpected.

It’s obvious that moving to a new country where you don’t speak the language or fully relate to the culture comes with its adversities. It’s obvious that without a job you’re going to feel pressure about how much money you’re spending on rent and food. But what was less obvious to me before coming here was the identity loss I’d feel as an oleh chadash.

Back in England, I felt established as you should in your early 30s. I’d spent my 20s discovering who I was. I’d travelled through different countries before settling in London, I’d worked terrible jobs, dated terrible people and lived in terrible flats. By 33 I had a good job, I felt confident in who I was in my friendship circle, as a son, brother and uncle. I hosted Friday Night Dinners from my flat in London, I read at least one book a month, I could repair ripped clothes with my sewing machine, I could walk into a room with confidence.

But since moving to Israel that feeling of establishment seems to have gone and with it an anchoring of self I once had. Sometimes I feel as though I’m losing........

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