My friend was going through a break-up. We sat on the grass outside her home as I tried to convince her to hate her ex. I had been seeing New Guy. It’s hard to tell a friend to hate their ex while you’re seeing someone new.

I go on dates pretty often, if you couldn’t tell by the theme of my writing. More often than most of my friends. After one article in particular, one of my closest friends said to me, “I’ve got to hand it to you. You just keep going.” The jury’s still out on whether that was a compliment or a sign of concern. I think I’ve gotten good, after fumbles, married men, and general pendejos, of filtering men out. A kinder way to say that might be that I’ve gotten more discerning about what is and isn’t good for me—  and thank goodness I have. My therapist tried her damnedest.

It hasn’t exactly been smooth sailing, and unlike every rom-com ever, I’m not blind to the amount of work it takes to sustain a relationship once you’re already in one. It’s funny how movies portray that decision, committing to one another, as an ending. “And they lived happily ever after”, seems to apply to elections, too. Why wouldn’t it? A politician wanting to honestly put in the work post-election is every voter’s dream.

It’s the work that’s the real issue. How do you choose a partner, choose a candidate, you can grow with? With three of my countries—the US, Israel, and Colombia—facing not-fun elections this year, I can’t help but wonder: What would happen if we chose our candidates how we should choose our partners? To help us set our standards, in dating and at the polls, I’ve narrowed down five things to filter out the fuckbois and the populists:

1. Get their full name before you meet up.

I learned this first, holy grail of rules, the hard way, when I was accidentally plunged into a situationship with Married Guy, who you can read........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)