The Psychology of Belonging

Human beings have always divided the world into “us” and “them.” But what creates that boundary?

Is it language, religion, ancestry, appearance, nationality, culture, or something else? And do differences create group boundaries—or do we first establish boundaries of belonging and only afterward decide which differences matter?

This series explores three related questions:

How do we create “us” and “them”?

How do group boundaries become social and political institutions?

And if human beings will always form groups, how can we live together?

This first part examines the psychology of belonging: where the distinction between “us” and “them” comes from, what the minimal-group experiments reveal about it, and why the characteristics we use to distinguish groups may be less fundamental than the boundaries themselves.

Belonging Before Difference

What makes someone one of “us” and someone else one of “them”?

At first glance, the answer seems obvious. Human beings notice differences, and those differences divide us into groups. Different languages create linguistic communities; religions create religious communities; appearances can become racial boundaries; and political beliefs can create opposing camps.

But is that actually how the process works?

Perhaps the more fundamental question is not which difference separates us, but who belongs in the first place.

Do people see a difference and conclude, “They are not one of us”?

Or do they first recognize—or construct—a boundary between “us” and “them,” and then begin looking for characteristics that explain or justify it?

This possibility raises a series of deeper questions. If human beings inevitably form circles of belonging, are tensions between groups unavoidable? Does assimilation actually dissolve group boundaries? Why could highly assimilated Jews in nineteenth- and twentieth-century Western Europe still be regarded as outsiders? And what happens when political, religious, ethnic, or national identities become so important that the other side is no longer seen merely as different, but as incompatible?

These questions lead to a more unsettling possibility:

Perhaps belonging comes before difference.

People may not simply discover the boundaries between “us” and “them.” To a significant extent, they may create those boundaries first—and only afterward decide which differences matter.

Which Difference Matters?

If belonging comes before difference, an obvious question follows:

What determines which difference becomes important?

There is no universal answer.

History provides examples for almost every possibility.

In many societies, language has been one of the most powerful markers of group membership.

The ancient Greeks distinguished themselves from foreigners partly through........

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