A defining moment is an important transformative event or decision that molds and shapes our character, life trajectory and/or career.

These decisions or events can be divided into two distinct and at times overlapping and interrelated broad categories – personal and communal. In addition, there are defining moments that impact communities as a whole and those that are very specific to individuals.

Throughout history, our Jewish communities have experienced a wide array of defining moments from Akeidat Yitzchak to receiving the Torah at Har Sinai; from the Exodus from Egypt, the splitting and crossing of the Red Sea; to our sojourn in the midbar and entry into Eretz Yisrael; from the destructive ravages of concentration camps to the establishment of the State of Israel; and from the victory of the Six Day war to the bloody massacre of October 7th. 

These are just a select few of the countless communal defining moments in history which have impacted our Jewish people and community over the centuries. Each one of these events (and many others) have left an indelible and permanent impact on our Jewish community in ways which are very evident today and at times even  unimaginable.

Defining Moments by definition is a term or phrase which is used interchangeably  with terms or words such as turning points, game-changer, milestones or watershed moments, to name a few.

They are very powerful events in time which can be life altering and transformative and which move us in a variety of directions.

Just think of the examples in history which I just offered and how they each changed the face of  history, our destiny and our mesorah.

My dear father z”l once said that when these moments happen or occur in the world, we never really know for certain if or how they will impact our lives or future generations. It is therefore imperative that we view these events Byad HaShem  (through the hands of God) and that each of these moments in time are accompanied by a set of reasons or circumstances which are far beyond our human ability or capacity to decipher, understand, explain or even comprehend.

It is therefore imperative that we minimize the time and energy we expend looking for answers to these events, and focus our attention on ways in which these moments inform our attitudes, behaviors, bitachon and emunah in HaShem and in his miraculous wonders and nissim.

There are numerous communal defining moments in Jewish history which have tested our resilience, bitachon and emunah. And, there are many that just slip under the radar by us not really knowing, recognizing or appreciating their occurrence or impact until years or generations later.

The one Jewish communal defining moment which we as a people consistently experience is in our daily tefillot, is when HaShem took us out of mitzrayim and when we crossed the Yam Suf (Red Sea). We are in fact reminded of this moment twice daily in our tefillot and of course on Chag Pesach. This was indeed one of the most miraculous defining moments (for Bnai Yisrael) in history.

The challenge this offers however relates to how often we as a people and as a community truly reflect or think about these miraculous  moments consistently, every day and throughout our lives.

We all know that after a while, these events or moments get swallowed up and adsorbed by other mundane events in our daily lives and activities.

Then there are other defining communal moments which have caused irreparable communal trauma such as the impact of the Holocaust on those who experienced the horrors of Nazi death camps of Europe.

Unfortunately, many of us are all too familiar with way too many people who are  reminded of this trauma every day of their lives. They continuously think, reflect  and painfully reminded of this horrible defining moment in their lives.

For many, this traumatic defining moment brought many Holocaust survivors closer to Judaism, bitachon and emuna. But as we know, for others, it unfortunately created a permanent distancing from religiosity, faith or their relationship to HaShem.

Friends, as an educator, I never ever pass any judgement on these amazing members of our Jewish community. There is no right or wrong, at-least from this writers perspective. This is but another example of the profound ebb and flow of defining moments in our lives and community.

As we go through life and our personal journeys, all of us experience a variety of defining moments which can be extremely positive and exhilarating, or somewhat negative.

They may include, but not be limited to the bar mitzvah, brit or beautiful birth of a child or grandchild, the sad passing of a parent or a relative, the blessed celebration of an engagement or a marriage; the day you passed the Bar or Semicha exam to the moment your child repeated his first precious words or took his first steps; and the day you or your spouse was offered a dream job.

These are all amazing personal defining moments, the memories and impact of which remain with us forever.

What makes these moments so important and defining are their short and long term impact on our lives – how they impact our individual decision making processes, value judgments, demeanor, character, dispositions and relationships with others (ben adam l’chavero).

At the end of the day, we were all created btzelem elokin – in the image of HaShem. To this end, we are all products of our environment and experiences. Each of us have a  very special and unique set of characteristics which enable us to respond and react differently to different circumstances.

The one challenge however which makes us unique is how these moments in time impact our relationship with HaShem and again to one another.

As we know, in Judaism, nothing in the world happens by accident or by coincidence. To be sure, all defining moments are ordained (bashert) through the will of HaShem and we are all recipients of His good graces.

Finally, what may be a defining moment for one person, may not necessarily be as defining for another. This also holds true for numerous events we experience throughout our lives.

It is therefore imperative that we understand, appreciate and respect our defining moments; we should never take these moments for granted and we should always keep in mind that life is fragile and fleeting.

Finally, defining moments teaches us to always be mindful, express haKarat haTov (gratefulness) on a daily basis, and always try to live positive moments to their fullest.

As we move into the future, it is our hope and prayer that acheinu bnai yisrael will be blessed with positive defining moments that are permanently embedded and  anchored in yirat shamayim, ahavat yisrael,  ahavat chesed and ahavat chinam.

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)