These days, our lives in Israel are measured by the distance to the nearest safe room. The “new routine” is anything but routine—punctuated by sirens, missiles, and the constant hum of airplanes and uncertainty. As parents, we are navigating our own stress while trying to be the steady ground for our children. We worry about their development, their emotional well-being, and how this tension might manifest in their behavior.

Recently, I had a phone call with the mother of a young girl I work with. Like many of us, she is juggling a high-stakes balancing act: working from home, managing the “Zoom school” schedules of multiple siblings, and keeping everyone safe.

During our conversation, she mentioned something that struck me. She told me she had been bracing herself for an increase in her daughter’s temper tantrums. Given the sirens and the stress in the air, she was certain that her daughter would experience a significant emotional regression.

“But strangely,” she said matter-of-factly, “it hasn’t happened. In fact, things have been seemingly very good lately.”

As we talked, she described her day. She mentioned that despite the chaos, she managed to find the time every day to play and spend some one-on-one time with her daughter. To her, this was just another part of her day, a small window squeezed between emails and household duties.

The Power of Presence

I suggested a different perspective: “It sounds to me like that one-on-one time is so meaningful to your daughter that it’s exactly what is keeping her regulated during this stressful time.”

In occupational therapy, we call this co-regulation. By giving her daughter that undistracted hour of a calm, warm relationship, this mother wasn’t just playing—she was acting as a vital anchor for her daughter. She was signaling at a nervous-system level: “The world outside is loud, but here, together, we are safe.”

The mother’s reaction was moving. Like so many “good Jewish mothers,” she had been carrying the “guilty mother” badge, feeling she wasn’t doing enough. She hadn’t realized that her simple act of presence was already the very thing building her daughter’s resilience. She left our call feeling stronger, realizing she had already done so much.

Let’s all take a minute now to think about what connections we could deepen or reinforce this upcoming week. Whether it is a 10–15-minute play session with our child, a check-in with a neighbor, or a phone call to a friend or family member, these moments of connection are the threads that weave us together, and that will build our resilience for generations to come.

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)