Surely, Clive Palmer is trolling us. Surely.

Here we are, just a few months out from a federal election, and Palmer – in my view the graspingest of all our home-grown billionaires – has applied to the relevant authority, IP Australia, to trademark the word “teal”. Also, heaven help me, the phrase “The Clive and Pauline Party”, “Teals”, “The Teal Party” and “AusTeal”.

Illustration: Joe Benke.Credit:

Avoiding the sheer horror of a party co-chaired by Pauline Hanson and Clive Palmer, neither of whom has once contributed one iota of goodness to our nation, let me reassure you of this. Palmer is not colour-blind. He’s a stuntman. He knows the difference between the shrieking canary yellow of his multiple political campaigns and the bluey-green of the group of politicians known as community independents. He........

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