The Last Ship, a musical written by and featuring Sting, is touring Europe, Australia and America. The show is a class-war parable set in Newcastle during the 1980s. A team of shipbuilders are about to complete a new vessel, the Utopia, when a bossy government minister, Baroness Tynedale, arrives at the docks to deliver bad news. With her bright- blue suit and posh hectoring voice, she’s a pantomime Mrs Thatcher and she announces that the yard will be seized and flogged to private investors.

The shipbuilders establish a Marxist committee and plot to overturn her evil scheme. A gripping start. Plucky Geordies pitted against yuppie scavengers from London. The show even features a song about the competing merits of collectivism and monetarism.

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Then it all implodes. The story takes off on a two-hour detour that explores the lives of various characters with emotional problems. Teenage Ellen dreams of starting a new life in London. Jackie the foreman (played by Sting) contracts a lung disease of unknown origin. The beautiful but prickly Meg can’t decide between two dreadful boyfriends. Will........

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