The cult economist Adam Tooze generally discusses matters far beyond my understanding on his podcast Ones and Tooze. While roasting in my flat over the heatwave, however, I found myself gripped by a segment he did on the economics of beach recreation. Did you know that 50 per cent of Americans going on holiday regard getting a tan as more important than the actual holiday?

This correlates with the rise of the ‘tanfluencer’ and ‘tanmaxxing’ among Gen Z and the revival of the full-on, George Hamilton-style tan. As a bit of an old tanorexic myself (remember, fellow boomers, the smell of Bergasol?), I’m quietly thrilled. First, because if this is a competition I will almost certainly win it (spot the brownest white person in the room: that’s me!). Second, because what is the point of a summer holiday if you don’t have something........

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