I’ve been wondering if signing up for a Costa Coffee loyalty card might have saved SNP master criminal Peter Murrell from his fate.

A maestro of disguise, too, as he carried out his merciless SNP funding scam behind a facade of deceptive, reassuring blandness.

Playing the Costa card is surreal, but bear with me coffee-lovers.

Murrell, former SNP chief executive and Sturgeon’s-ex, will continue to cast his headline-hogging shadow throughout June.

We caught a glimpse of him in court again last week: I checked if his cuffs were 18ct gold from Amazon or standard-issue stainless steel and nickel.

His sentencing after admitting a £400,000 SNP fraud is a few weeks away, just days after the Aberdeen South Westminster by-election.

Who knows if voters residing within its boundaries (including me) will deliver a heavy punishment or endorse the SNP again in another of their weaker seats.

Murrell’s obsessive thirst for coffee was well-established after splashing out illegally on thousands of pounds of fancy beans and posh coffee machines.

But I find that one of those little Costa loyalty cards helps control your urges.

You know how it works: you live within your means to build up coffee points and then – hey presto – after reaching 10 you are rewarded with........

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