In fiction, when a billionaire supervillain mobilises himself and his nefarious army of dollars against British democracy, we send a secret agent to have a word or two. That arm of the state is apparently inoperative, and I don’t know who to blame for that, probably austerity.

Instead, our first line of defence against Elon Musk has turned out to be Nigel Farage. Who could possibly have foreseen that they’d fall out, and so soon? They’re both so reasonable and conciliatory.

It seems like only a nanosecond ago that Musk was offering to hose Farage with cash; to give him so much money to spend on stunts and Facebook ads that our next general election would be a mere formality. All Farage had to do was fall in line on the simple matter of whether Tommy Robinson was a folk hero or far-right thug, and Westminster would be his for the taking.

You couldn’t call Farage’s response a principled stand: what he actually told Reform’s East Midlands conference was that Musk had “a whole range of opinions, some of which I agree with very strongly, and others of which I am more reticent about”. As critique goes, it’s weak; but as support goes, it’s pretty weak as well, given that it could mean anything. Does Farage agree very strongly that you should name your children with........

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