Every Friday night on a community sports field in Melbourne’s inner north, a few hundred nerds dress up in historical armour and attack each other with foam latex swords. It’s live action role play: turbocharged Dungeons & Dragons meets medieval re-enactment.

I’ve been Larping for seven years. It’s the biggest thing in my life outside of comedy, and the two scenes have a lot in common. Everyone’s broke. Everyone was bullied in high school. No one gets into Larp or standup if things are going well.

The biggest commonality is the gatekeeping. A crusted old comic in the corner of a greenroom gasps: “You’re a fan of standup, are you? Name three of Carl Barron’s best jokes.” His Larp counterpart, a polyamorous he/they in a top hat with a cog on it, twirls a cane: “So you like Warhammer Fantasy Battle? Name three spells an Elven cleric can use in combat.” I’d like to see those two sit down and collectively name three women who feel safe around them.

Swordcraft Quest is one of the biggest events on Australia’s Larp calendar. Hundreds of players pitch tents in a rocky cattle paddock in Pomborneit, Victoria to role play living in a medieval fantasy village for a week called Sudenburg. It’s fully in character and immersive, save for a few modern conveniences. Even the most fearsome warrior needs a Portaloo and a soy flat white.

You can be a noble paladin, a sage elven scholar or a tricksy halfling bard. But if you’re a real freak, like........

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