The first thing a friend did when I told her the title of my book was laugh. “The Sex Lives of Married Women?” She asked. “You mean The No Sex Lives of Married Women.”

I laughed too. She wasn’t wrong – married people aren’t exactly known for their thriving sex lives. And I suspect the only couples reliably having sex must be the ones who have scheduled it into their Google calendars, probably in a shared folder alongside “Bunnings trip” and “remortgage review”.

I’m not that interested in how much sex people are or aren’t having in long-term relationships, but rather in how intimacy evolves over time and desire shifts after 10, 15, 20 years with the same person. How does it compete with exhaustion, children, finances and the never-ending pile of laundry?

We’ve all read stories about the electric beginnings of love: the butterflies, the charged glances, the can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other urgency. But what happens after the “happily ever after”? When the thrill of new love gives way........

© The Guardian