Ireland’s parliament, the Dáil, voted down a reproductive rights amendment bill this month that would have abolished the country’s mandatory three-day waiting period for access to an abortion. Supporters of the unsuccessful reform bill, tabled by the Social Democrats, argued that the delay serves no medical purpose.

As the bill moved through political debate and media coverage, those defending the requirement to wait three days from the time of requesting an abortion before care can be accessed barely attempted to argue otherwise, instead structuring their opposition to reform around the idea that women cannot be trusted to know what they want. The waiting period, which is not required in most European countries, was repeatedly described as “a cooling off” period; time to “reflect”, “reconsider”, “rethink”. Supporters of the status quo spoke extensively of wanting to save women from feelings of regret.

That framing is deliberate. In reaction to more accepting cultural attitudes around abortion, the modern anti-choice movement increasingly presents itself not as punitive, but protective. Women are no longer primarily portrayed as selfish or immoral; instead, they are framed as vulnerable, emotionally confused, incapable of making their own decisions. The role of the state, then, becomes one of slowing them down, supervising them, warning them against themselves.

The concern, of course, isn’t really regret itself. Regret is ordinary. Adults regret relationships, careers, relocations, financial decisions, marriages, affairs, voting choices and, yes, even parenthood – yet we do not build legal frameworks around the possibility that people may later feel ambivalence or conflict about their decisions.

We also understand that regret isn’t always total or all-consuming. Regret can be fleeting, it can dissipate, it can coexist alongside relief, self-compassion, happiness. People can regret certain aspects of a situation and not others. We understand and accept that regret is a nuanced, manageable and everyday part of life – except, that is, when........

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