‘Texting your teenage son is like texting a guy who has no interest in you” goes a meme that has re-emerged recently, piercing in its accuracy. “I am so proud of you, I love you, have a great day,” the ur-version goes; “OK,” the son replies. Longer versions feature a litany of lengthy mum texts – offers of food, solicitous inquiries, general expressions of love – met with single-syllable son replies. Occasionally, there’s the teen son equivalent of a booty call: a request for cash (or food).

I feel the truth of it to my........

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