From the start of his first campaign for president 10 years ago, Donald Trump has incessantly presented himself as a winner, the only man in the world who had the temperament to make America great again. As he said in 2016:

“We’re gonna win so much, you may even get tired of winning. And you’ll say: ‘Please, please. It’s too much winning. We can’t take it any more, Mr President, it’s too much.’ And I’ll say: ‘No it isn’t. We have to keep winning. We have to win more!’”

We have to win more!

Those words keep haunting me all these years later. Trump, now enjoying his second conquest of the White House, cannot imagine the possibility that he could ever lose.

What comes next, then, for a man who wants a Nobel peace prize and can delude himself into believing that he is winning the trade war he has recently launched?

Here are 16 possible future wins for Trump as he relishes the prospect of Guinness World Records soon bringing out a special edition devoted exclusively to the American president’s innumerable victories and laurels.

Columbia University has announced that Donald J Trump will be its next commencement speaker, receiving a doctor of business administration degree, honoris causa. The board of trustees has affirmed that there is absolutely no relationship between these distinctions and its previous concessions to the US government after its threats to withdraw $400m in federal funding from the university. It will continue, a press release stated, to award honors as befits an institution that, like Harvard, is renowned for its independence from all political pressure.

The Nobel........

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