It’s that time of year: football season, when we can put aside our political divisions and just start hating each other for the college football team we support.

Football is the modern-day “bread and circuses,” meant, as the Roman politicians did, to distract the proletariat from their shenanigans. Bread would be Mayor Mamdani’s “free” grocery stores. The circus is football.

In the South, football is akin to a religious experience. Psychiatrists will tell you that football satisfies our primal human thirst for war. But, just to be on the safe side, government gets us in a bunch of wars too. (RELATED: Cincinnati Hits Brendan Sorsby With Lawsuit After He Allegedly Didn’t Pay $1M NIL Buyout Following Tech Tech Transfer)

A majority of Americans now consider football our national sport, replacing baseball. We like more violent sports, like a Republican appearing on “The View,” Mixed Martial Arts on the White House lawn and, our latest, Whack-a-Mullah.

Only in the South do you see a bottom-15-percentile test score performing high school with a new $40-million football stadium across the street from a guy selling boiled peanuts, airbrushed Elvis portraits, and Confederate shot glasses out of the back of his pickup truck.

“It just means more,” as........

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