In 1992, George H. W. Bush threw up on Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Mayazawa. The “vomiting incident,” as Wikipedia calls it, came at the end of a swing through Asia that had clearly left the former president feeling a bit under the weather, culminating in him upchucking all over our closest regional ally during dinner. By that standard, Trump’s latest trip to Asia is a triumph. What, were you expecting anything more substantial?

Sure, there was the promise of a $10 billion Toyota investment in the United States seemingly agreed with Japan’s new female Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi, a protégé of Trump’s former golfing buddy Shinzo Abe. Unfortunately, Toyota has not yet announced any new plants. I’m sure that will happen any moment now. (Or not.)

There was a signing ceremony for a ceasefire between Cambodia and Thailand after their five-day border conflict last July—and hey, at least this time Trump was working with two countries who’d actually locked horns. He also performed his famous double dick dance for a Malaysian marching band inexplicably performing the theme from Hawaii 5-0.

Personally, I was glad to shunt our Burger King........

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