Birth stories take many forms. Some are joyous, some are tragic, many are traumatic and confusing. Mine was an overwhelming mix of all of the above.

But between the blood and love and horror, there can also be a lot of humour. When I gave birth to my daughter, I wasn’t cracking jokes in the delivery suite. But in the years since, I’ve been able to look back on that strange time and recognise absurd mirth in the day – specifically, in the expectations I held for how it would go.

Women’s birth plans have become increasingly elaborate in recent years.Credit: Getty Images

During my pregnancy, I, like many parents, thought about birth constantly. I read books, listened to podcasts, took courses, journaled, meditated and spoke to countless friends in an exhausting attempt to not only understand what was about to happen, but to control it. The summation of these efforts came together in a mystical document familiar to many: the birth plan.

For those without children, or the mental capacity to spend months choreographing your perfect delivery, a birth plan is broadly a set of directions for how you’d like the event to go. Birth planning has, of course, existed for as long as birth itself. Individuals have always attempted to arrange an optimal environment for the safe delivery of their children.........

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