In a World Cup of poseurs, this trio would fill the podium

July 11, 2026 — 5:00am

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Are truly elite soccer players, as a breed, up themselves?

I suppose I could have asked Cristiano Ronaldo, but he was a little busy in a couple of press conferences.

“Whatever happens tomorrow,” he is saying, “Cristiano will leave with a clear conscience ... I’m not going to be more, or less, Cristiano because I win the World Cup ... Before Cristiano, Portugal hadn’t won any title.”

Others, like Lionel Messi, were occupied thanking God for making them so great. For only God knows how beneficent he has been in giving little ol’ Lionel such skills to wow the world, particularly when many would have thought his efforts might have been better directed to helping the children of Gaza and Ukraine.

But my pièce de résistance is Norway superstar Erling Haaland, after his first goal against Brazil earlier this week. Out on the left, Andreas Schjelderup, the young Norwegian winger who had come on as a substitute, whips in a superbly weighted cross that is – ah, sing it, Dennis Cometti, one more time for the road – centimetre perfect!

The kid has the ball on a string, and it descends like a guided bomb precisely where Haaland wanted it, allowing him to unleash a lethal header into the back of the net.

Goal! Goal! GOOOOOOOAL! A goal for your life, I’ll tell a man it is!

Everyone is thrilled – none more than the substitute Schjelderup, whose skillful assist has set up the opening goal for his more high-profile teammate. Haaland runs straight towards him, and the kid puts his arms out to be embraced. Alas, Norway’s hero runs straight past him, without acknowledgement, to get closer to the crowd and feel the love. Schjelderup was obliged to run after him, and join the others in embracing him.

#WTAF? It might be that there is something I culturally don’t get. But can someone explain? In what world is it OK to be gifted such a superb pass, score, and not show a scintilla of gratitude to the one who delivered it to you? And it is not as if this is a one-off. In this World Cup, it happens all the time! The scorer doesn’t acknowledge the one who set it up, but just rushes towards the crowd to maximise their adulation of him.

In any other sport – at least in this nation – you’d call them wankers, yes?

Many journeys, one jersey

At its best, sport can be a wonderful force for social change and social justice. Few sports are better in this regard than the NRL, which has really gone out of its way to be inclusive of all races, creeds and sexualities. (Perhaps not purely motivated by altruism – among other things, it just makes good business sense to make clear that you genuinely want one and all, not just straight white people, to make your turnstiles turn.)

But this week, it was a returning young Socceroo of whom we can be most proud. At a time when charlatans – you heard me – are seeking to profit from those who specialise in trying to turn us all against each other, Awer Mabil,........

© The Age