Cricket must be the only sport that its professional practitioners don’t really like playing.

This is the unavoidable conclusion from the English team’s refusal to play any cricket outside the five Ashes Test matches they are contracted to fulfil.

A desultory centre-wicket practice in Perth? Sure, if we have to. A pink-ball match in Canberra? No thanks.

Their hosts’ preparation for the day-night match in Brisbane sticks to the blueprint. How do you prepare for a game of cricket? Play golf, apparently.

From all reports, both sets of cricketers are playing enough golf to qualify for the Australian PGA Championship. Is golf destroying the Ashes? Maybe we should put it another way: are the Ashes getting in the way of some relaxing time out on the course?

Three rounds in three days before the Perth Test match can’t have helped Usman Khawaja’s back, despite the denials. Those three rounds might have ended his Test cricket career, but, to see the glass as half-full, they might have helped kick-start a healthy afterlife on the links.

Steve Smith of Australia mimics a golf shot as he talks with Usman Khawaja of Australia.Credit: Getty Images

As for the English, golf has a lot in common with their batting: see the ball, hit the ball. If only the ball stood still, they’d have this cricket thing nailed.

The interesting thing about the suggestion from Optus Stadium boss Mike McKenna that the teams should have played an impromptu extra match in Perth was how little serious thought it was given. Those guys clearly needed a rest after two days.

England’s bowlers were cooked after one. And some tee times had been booked, so........

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