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John Boston | Castaic Dog Catcher Stops Trump’s Orders

8 0
11.04.2025

JOHN BOSTON NATIONAL NEWS SERVICES — In a major upheaval of the three branches of federal government, a lone dog catcher in Santa Clarita, a yuppie enclave on the outskirts of L.A., has filed suit against Donald Trump.

Yalsup T. Boan’ewe, a janitor/cage cleaner at the Castaic Animal Shelter, has launched a massive, 1.3-million page injunction, hand-written, single-spaced, halting everything the Trump Administration has initiated since inauguration. This includes a staggering eight-figure staff pay raise for the doggie pound just north of the city of Santa Clarita.

“Although I don’t have one, it’s tough raising a family on just $91,000, part-time, Lysoling poopy cages of COVID and rabies,” said Boan’ewe. “Tune-ups on a Mercedes SUV ain’t exactly spare change.”

The feral pet corraler drew his inspiration from the hundreds of low-level “justices of the peaces” with the 14-inch foreheads who have successfully stymied any action by not just the executive branch of government, but Congress and the Supreme Court as well.

“I am king,” said Boan’ewe. “My word, actually, ‘words,’ are law.”

Boan’ewe, a 57-year-old animal maintenance engineer, lives rent-free in a deluxe triple-wide in the Angeles National Forest with his wife Shirley Jean. Shirley Jean is actually a blow-up doll, receiving 29 monthly Social Security checks, food stamps, Workman’s Comp and a sizeable oil depletion allowance. Boan’ewe said he always had trouble with the phrase, “… my word is law.”

“I mean, what the heck can you do with an edict that simply includes just one measly word, like, ‘the’ or ‘sirloin,’” asked........

© Santa Clarita Valley Signal