As members of Gen X, we share similar tastes in music. We were recently discussing the genius of R.E.M, which sent us down a listening rabbit hole to revisit our favorites. Tara highly recommends "Nightswimming"; Ed favors "Radio Free Europe," even though he has no idea what the song is about and suspects that Michael Stipe doesn’t either.

There are some amazing treasures in the R.E.M. canon, but one of their most popular songs, with over 443K listens on Spotify as of this post, is "Everybody Hurts." If you’ve heard it, you know it. You feel it.

It’s probably been 20 years since I (Tara) listened to that song and hearing it again leveled me with grief. Sure, it’s a sad song, but it had never evoked a similar response and that’s probably because the lyrics didn’t apply to my life then like they do today.

When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes

Earlier this summer, I lost a dear friend to suicide. The grief caused by his absence shows up in so many ways and when I least expect it, and therein lies the problem with grief. It is unpredictable and thorny. It comes in waves. It shows up like an uninvited guest and just sits with you.

(Ed lost a good friend to suicide in college. Another dear friend, a wonderful musician, turned him on to "If You Go" by the Irish Band Hothouse Flowers to help him through. The musician has since passed as well. "If You Go" and grief are now married in Ed’s brain.)

Though my........

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