The holidays are a time when it can feel as if everyone else in the world is deeply engaged in a shared experience—connected by an invisible string—of joy, gratitude, and wonder. But in fact, for millions of people, the reflective pause of the holidays opens up a space for something very different: feelings of loneliness and isolation. Especially as we are living through a loneliness epidemic, this time of year can amplify feelings of being on the outskirts of humanity, closed off from the experience of the holidays or even just what “normal” “should” be.

We don’t talk about it enough, but as universal as those warm feelings of holiday connections can be, loneliness, especially at this time of year, is universal too. We aren’t lonely because we are different or aren’t worthy of connection or love. No, we feel lonely simply because we are human. All of us have seasons of “winning the connection lottery,” and other seasons where we feel bereft of the contact we crave—whether we are with others or not. Loneliness can turn a switch off in us; we can lose perspective and interpret our feelings as a verdict about ourselves globally and permanently, rather than a reflection of what we are feeling in a moment.

It’s not the feelings of loneliness that are the problem; those are normal experiences that ebb and flow in life. It’s the stories that we tell ourselves about that experience that can make the meaning of those potentially short-lived or fleeting moments feel permanent.

Knowing that it’s normal to feel lonely, we........

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