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Kids get stuck when they are overwhelmed and feel like there is nothing they can do to help.

Parents want to help kids feel better, but deeper than rescue or fixing is helping kids understand themselves.

Kids can learn to become interpreters of their thoughts and feelings rather than seeing them as facts.

They can learn to zoom in to identify thoughts that come up, then zoom out and "fact-check" the thoughts.

“She has no idea how to navigate this.” “He is so overwhelmed, he doesn’t know how to navigate this.” Whether we are talking about kids who are wired to feel things more intensely, or any child caught in a tough moment, often the first place kids land with their emotions is confusion and discomfort. And hey, isn’t that where we all land first? But here’s what happens next for kids: They feel like there is nothing they can do but wait until the feeling goes away. They turn to us in their distress with the unspoken request: “Make this go away.”

And of course, as parents, we want our kids to feel better, and we can and we should. But there’s a deeper way to do that than distracting or fixing things, and that is: helping our kids understand themselves better.

Toward Is Forward: We Have to Go There With Our Kids So They Can Learn the Way

Our most fundamental direction as parents: Toward is forward. Rather than steering our kids away from whatever they are feeling with distraction or avoidance, paradoxically, we can teach them that finding out more about what sets them off in the first place by thinking about the story their thoughts are telling them about it is the best way to feel better. When you see feelings as information to be interpreted, not facts to be followed, kids feel empowered to edit their thoughts, seek other perspectives, and choose the best ones. Increasingly, they learn to take with them from experiences........

© Psychology Today