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Preserving a relationship by lying to your partner about a “hard truth” may seem kind, but isn't a good idea.

Research shows the downside of lying, even if that lie is meant to benefit a weaker partner’s resilience.

By choosing honesty over deception, couples have a chance to forge stronger bonds in the future.

Although honesty would seem to be the foundation of every successful relationship, there may be times when you wonder if it’s always wise to tell the truth.

Jessie is convinced that her partner, Chris, would be better off not knowing exactly how much a home repair will cost. She sets aside whatever small amounts she can to cover up the true expense, figuring that there’s no point in causing Chris to get as upset as she is. After all, it won’t change anything, and at least she can protect Chris from unnecessary stress.

You might wonder, though, if Jessie is really being all that altruistic. What if the heavy expense is her own fault? Maybe she didn’t check around enough to get cheaper estimates. Or maybe the need for the expense was due to her own carelessness (that cabinet drawer didn't break itself). Now, her dishonesty seems to be serving an entirely different—selfish—purpose.

The Prosocial Lie vs. the Egoistic Lie

As noted by SWPS University’s Sebastian Wnęk and Katarzyna Cantarero (2026), although “people value honesty as essential in relationships … they also acknowledge situations in which … deception … is not only acceptable but, at times, ethically justified.” Truth can cause emotional pain, so........

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