The ending of a relationship is never simple and knowing when it’s time to leave is even more complicated. For some people, quitting a long-term relationship can provoke feelings of failure and guilt, so there are plenty of reasons to pretend that everything is fine. Yet sticking around when it’s clearly time to go can only prolong the inevitable, leading to even more heartache.

Relationship researchers, acknowledging just how painful it is for couples to decide to end things, continue to seek ways to ease that pain. Although previous research focused almost exclusively on the process of relationship dissolution from the standpoint of the individual, newer approaches recognize the importance of studying both partners.

Because close relationships, by definition, involve the perspectives of two separate people, what Partner A does is influenced by, and influences, Partner B. Additionally, the supposed “truth” of what is going on between them can vary considerably based on who is providing the information.

If you’re a relationship researcher, you have to study A’s version of reality, B’s version of reality, A’s version of B’s version, and B’s version of A’s version. If that relationship is on the brink of ending, there’s no guarantee that any of these will match up.

With this background, you can now appreciate the challenge of trying to find out which symptoms of a relationship in trouble exist in “reality” or just in the minds of Partner A and/or B. For Singapore Management’s University Kenneth Tan and colleagues (2023), the dilemma takes the form of the following question:........

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