In intimate relationships, what feels like love to one person can be, in reality, a series of steps into being controlled by a partner. Coercive control is now illegal in the U.K. and emphasizes behavior subjugation.

However, the concept, as put forward by sociologist Evan Stark, does not acknowledge psychological abuse; instead, it focuses on gender-related behavior abuse. In contrast, gaslighting is a term identifying techniques used by a controller to make a target feel crazy, stupid, or weak. Abuse takes place in both constructs. The techniques used to exert control in an intimate relationship are similar to the manipulation experienced in a high-control cultic group.

I believe that “undue influence” or “mind control” best describes one-on-one abuse. Unlike a cult-group situation, a controlling person takes over one person rather than many people. The people exerting control typically lack the capacity for empathy but convincingly act like they are “in love.” The target is love-bombed and made to feel that they have met their soulmate or "twin flame." The predator overwhelms the person with attention, flattery, and even expensive gifts and promises of an incredible new life together. Although this form of manipulation is as old as humanity itself, in the modern era, dating apps and smartphones have become tools for predators, allowing them a wide........

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