How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

This light-hearted riddle highlights the importance of an individual being empowered for change for a shift to actually happen.

When things are difficult, we often wish for the situation to change without having to change ourselves. But without active focus on change, we’re often stuck circling around a process of either attempting to repress the issue (which doesn’t work in the long run) or repeating unhelpful habits (which only ends up leading to more misery). Even habits like repetitive self-blame can serve as an avoidance or stuckness pattern, such as when someone might deem themselves a loser for not having finished school or reiterate a myth that they are unworthy of having positive relationships.

Whether or not someone is in therapy, having some ideas about goals and personal growth agenda items is helpful. Deciding to take an honest assessment of what is happening and what is the next best step allows more forward motion. By focusing intention and taking an active role in change, opportunities for shift open up.

Let’s examine several metaphors that might assist in illuminating this point further.

Many individuals struggling with life stressors, internal and external, sometimes get into a situation of being more........

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