Rejection is an inevitable experience; it happens to all of us, most likely multiple times throughout life. But its inevitability doesn’t make it less painful when it happens. Indeed, rejection can be profoundly distressing. Whether it's a romantic breakup, exclusion from a social group, being cut off from a family member or friend, or a professional setback, the pain of rejection often feels acute and deeply personal.

Why does rejection hurt so much? Both psychological and neurological research offer insights into why rejection is such a powerful emotional experience. From an evolutionary perspective, humans have always been inherently social creatures: Our survival has historically depended on group cohesion and cooperation. Evolutionary psychologists believe that being a part of a group was essential for accessing resources such as food, protection from predators and other people, and finding a mate. Social rejection was not just upsetting; it posed a significant threat to our very survival. Thus, as we evolved, humans developed a sensitivity to social rejection, making the experience of being ostracized painful so that we would avoid it, curbing any behaviors that could lead to exclusion. Theorists believe that the same survival mechanism is at play today.

Research has shown that the brain processes social pain similarly to physical pain. Utilizing functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that areas activated during physical pain, such as the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC), are also engaged when individuals experience social exclusion. The

© Psychology Today