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Repeated setbacks and disappointments can make hope begin to feel risky.

Rebuilding hope often involves strengthening self-trust and trust in others.

Hope plays a key role in building, practicing, and sustaining resiliency.

Something I’m noticing is that many people are afraid to get their hopes up. When you’ve experienced setbacks and disappointments, and been let down by systems, by people, or even by your own best efforts, hope no longer feels entirely safe to lean into. And yet, we know that it is one of the mightiest contributors to resilience and well-being that we have.

I recently had a conversation with Ross Ellenhorn, psychotherapist, social worker, and author of Ten Reasons Not to Change, that brought language to something I think many people are experiencing: Sometimes people are not lacking hope, they are afraid of it.

His work helps us see that people may exist in very different emotional relationships with hope: some living in despair and disconnected from hope entirely, some grounded in hope and living in a place of being hope-filled, and others fearing hope.

Hope is something quiet but mighty. As Ellenhorn describes it, hope is the capacity to move toward something you yearn for despite uncertainty (Life by Design, 2026). It’s trusting that whatever comes, you’ll find your way through it. Hope changes the lens through which we see the world and allows us to act without guarantees. And when we understand hope this way, we also begin to understand why it can feel risky.

When we hope, we also open ourselves up to disappointment. Maybe it’s a future that didn’t arrive the way we imagined, a relationship that fell apart, or opportunities that disappeared. When people........

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