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Trust Is a Decision, Not a Feeling

14 0
14.11.2024

Jake discovers that Karla is having an affair, and Simone has caught Anne lying, yet again, about money and what she spent and didn’t spend. What Jake and Simone have in common is the feeling that they can’t trust their partners.

Trust is the foundation of any good relationship; its core is honesty. But when that trust is shattered or eroded, words lose meaning, and suspicion sets in, all understandable. What often happens next only makes the problem worse, not better.

Jake needs to know that Karla’s affair is over, so he demands that she give him access to her phone or delete her Instagram account. Or, Simone wants Anne to give up her credit cards or show her the credit card statements each month. Both believe that the only road to rebuilding trust is making sure the other is changing their behavior. The road to regaining trust is ensuring the other’s behavior has changed.

However, this strategy can backfire. Karla and Anne get fed up with being supervised........

© Psychology Today


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