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Change is hard, and trying to make several big changes all at once often fails spectacularly.

A better approach may be a "change sampler," which involves reasonable goals and is time-bounded.

It's important to start with an attitude of curiosity rather than do-or-die determination.

It helps to track our progress so we can fine-tune our plans as we go along.

Perhaps you do it in January, on your birthday, when you’re finally fed up or have painted yourself into a corner. The resolution, the campaign, the “this time” declaration that you’re finally going to do what you haven’t been doing.

You probably know what happens next: You drop your gym membership a month after you started; you’re back to having that glass of wine or that bowl of pot “to help you relax” after a couple of weeks; you pay your bills or clean up your bedroom three weekends in a row, but then it’s over, all except for the kicking yourself.

Often, the problem is that you’ve taken too big a bite; your campaign is a white-knuckled, forced march through hell. If this rings true, I have a........

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