If you’re part of a male couple, you’ve probably noticed there isn’t a whole lot of material out there that pertains specifically to you. I’ve been working with gay couples, and gay men in general, for over 40 years—and when it comes to working with male couples, it’s not about reinventing the wheel, it’s about creating it for the first time!

My clients have often asked me for resources that pertain to their lives and unique issues, and it has always amazed me to see how few there are out there. I’ve sometimes managed to find something that might be useful to a particular couple, but I’m usually adapting something to their situation.

Male couplehood comes without a training manual, and most of us grew up in heteronormative households, so we didn’t even get to see what “being a couple” looks like in action. This lack of experience and role models is compounded by the internalized shame carried by most gay men. There’s a tremendous challenge in growing up while hiding feelings of love and sexuality—and knowing those feelings are unacceptable (and even dangerous) in the larger culture. Gay men face disapproval, or worse, if those emotions are visible.

So, no wonder they keep them hidden! The couples that make it to my office—and I recognize that getting here........

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