Why Relationships Matter

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Our greatest loves can only ever be temporary because that's the rhythm of life.

A great part of those whom we have loved and lost remains with us.

As I write this, my beloved dog, Clooney, is sleeping on the couch. I listen to his gentle snoring and I find myself transported from the agonizing grief I feel. A trip to the emergency vet delivered the news no one ever wants: Clooney has cancer.

I am absolutely gutted with grief. He and I have been constant companions for more than 13 years. We have developed a rhythm of life we both love and that has opened a wider world to us. And soon we will be parted and I will be the author of when and how we say goodbye. It is something I must do because I owe him the best.

I remind myself that Clooney was never truly mine; he was gift on loan from the universe. He was never mine to keep permanently. That would be against the natural order of things. We are most miserable when we try to circumvent life’s processes and rhythms. Substitute “pet” for “son” or “friend,” in this quotation from Epictetus (50-138 CE) who makes the point beautifully:

What you love is nothing of your own: it has been given to you for the present, not that it should not be taken from you, nor has it been given to you for all time, but as a fig is given to you or a bunch of grapes at the appointed season........

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