Linda was getting married for the second time at age 52. She was remarrying because her to-be-husband’s tax situation was better than her own. This sounded like she should not want to. I asked if she was also excited about marrying Jon; her answer was “not really.” Marriage, as a concept, was something she rejected; she wasn’t one of those trad-wives who drank the Kool-Aid and fell for the cultural narrative. Marriage, she explained, had been created not for love but as an economic arrangement when women were dependent on men and couldn’t work or get an education. The church had romanticized marriage as something sentimental, which the patriarchy was now deliberately using as a form of power and control—to hold women hostage.

We then moved on to a conversation about the wedding day itself. Not surprisingly, Linda wouldn’t buy anything special to wear; she would grab something from her closet that looked clean and casual. The ceremony would take place at City Hall, with random staff serving as their witnesses. Traveling by subway (and only subway), they would meet up for a meal with friends.

To acknowledge that the day might be different or deserve any special attention would indicate that she had been snookered by the patriarchy. She had planned an event to present a woman who wakes up and, on a whim, decides to get married that day—because it’s a fun thing to do and no big deal. All........

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