“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” ― Anthony de Mello

There is a powerful word that, when used with sincere curiosity, acts like a magic eraser of unwanted thoughts. You have almost certainly uttered this word when addressing the ideas of others. It’s time to practice this technique on yourself.

It was during a couples counseling session that the shear potency of this magic word was revealed to me. A husband was sharing with me his view of the nature of their relationship and why they had ended up in counseling seeking assistance. As in many such sessions, his review of “our problems” was clearly being pointed in the direction of his wife, who sat calmly staring in what I could easily see was utter disbelief as her husband continued to share his laundry list of complaints. When he finished, I looked at his wife and eagerly awaited her response. It came as one word that spoke volumes: “Really?”

Since that time, in and out of therapy sessions, I’ve observed how this simple question can have great impact on conversations in which one person is feeling the weight of another’s viewpoint, often presented in the form of a diatribe, rant, or what therapists sometimes refer to as verbal vomit.

The powers of this simple word are based in both its simplicity and its place in........

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