When Terrie moved to town and joined her local parenting group, she was surprised to find so many people sharing stories of difficulties with their child’s behavior. Many of these comments came with groans of dismay and shared stories of restaurant debacles and lost TV privileges. After a few gatherings, Terrie admitted that she never had to set limits for Elizabeth, who was eight years old, and time outs were exceedingly rare.

“I guess she’s just an easy kid,” Terrie said with a shrug.

Although many of the others left that meeting that day green with envy, after they got to know Terrie and her daughter better, the truth came to light. On the playground, when Elizabeth played with children her own age, she often came across as demanding. Her peer group had to play Elizabeth’s games, and no, she wasn’t about to take turns. When Elizabeth didn’t get her way, she pouted or threw fits that made her appear far less emotionally mature than her peers. Eventually, many of the friends drifted away, although she managed to retain the friendship of a shy girl who seemed content to do anything Elizabeth wanted. Terrie was happy at least one of the girls at the school understood exactly how “special” she was.

It turned out Elizabeth appeared to be an “easy kid” because Terrie gave her everything she wanted.

Stay up past bedtime? Sure. Get a new toy from Target, even though she’d already gotten two this week? Okay. Skip out on chores, again? Of course, you can focus on being a kid and your school work, and I’ll clean up.

Terrie has adopted what can be called the indulgent/permissive parent position. This is most typically identified by the parent’s outright and pervasive over-indulgence. The child is provided with most everything she wants and, in some........

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