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As a therapist who works with consensual non-monogamy (CNM), I’ve seen it function really beautifully. I also know that it can be challenging. That’s because, in my experience, consensual non-monogamy tends to be a crucible for personal growth.

This isn’t exclusive to CNM, of course. In any relationship, we call on our relational skills to soothe unruly emotions, to prioritize between our various commitments, to communicate honestly while still being kind and warm, and to attune to the preferences of others while still respecting our own. None of us is born with all the skills we need to support lasting relationships. We have to develop them with time and practice.

But when CNM is part of the picture, more people are involved in the relationship dynamic, and more people mean more different opinions, more........

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