In 1992, renowned clinical psychologist and marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman conducted a groundbreaking statistical exploration of marriages and divorces. Through this research, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, he was able to predict which couples would eventually divorce with a staggering 94 percent accuracy. Since then, Dr. Gottman—along with his wife, Dr. Julie Gottman—has conducted extensive research into the factors that make or break relationships.

Their work has pointed to various key dynamics that contribute to marital success or failure. And, according to their research from the Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, the presence of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”—a metaphor borrowed from the New Testament that signifies the end of times—is among the greatest predictors of divorce. These four behaviors, if consistently appearing in a marriage, can signal serious trouble ahead.

The Gottmans define criticism, the first horseman, as the presentation of problems within a relationship as a direct result of your spouse’s shortcomings. Unlike a simple complaint or a critique about a specific mistake, criticism is a direct attack on your partner’s character—often comprised of sweeping generalizations.

This behavior can be particularly damaging because it shifts the focus from the issue at hand to the perceived flaws of your partner—which ultimately makes it more about who they are rather than what they’ve........

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