Anyone who’s known a narcissist can recognize their classic criticism, demeaning tendencies, gaslighting, blame shifting, exploitation, and other manipulative behaviors from a mile away. However, some narcissists — like covert or vulnerable narcissists — operate stealthily. These are the kinds of individuals who can leave you more confused and damaged than when they found you.

The following are four secrets that a narcissist does not want you to know. Knowing them will assist you in regaining your power and recovering your identity, should you or someone you love ever become a victim of narcissistic abuse.

Narcissists compulsively seek emotional reactions from others. When they insult, accuse, or even emotionally provoke someone, it can be their way of finding evidence for the power they hold over their emotions.

In this sense, a calm or neutral reaction can truly loosen a narcissist’s self-assured grip on their victim’s emotions. Keeping calm when they try to get a response out of you is enough to damage their need for control.

This means that the less emotion you express, the less successful the narcissist’s strategies will be against you. They may even intensify their tactics in an attempt to squeeze out a response, but they lose every time they don’t receive one. The “gray rock method” uses this very logic as its foundation: one has to become as boring........

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