Every seven years, we lose half our friends.

The impact of betrayal is not just determined by the act itself but by how close we are to the perpetrator.

The only way to be connected is to make yourself vulnerable to harm.

All throughout this week, I will be sharing reflections derived from my new book Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, which is officially out tomorrow.

Friendship betrayal hurts, but like a weird, vague, achy, constipated hurt. Your anger, indignation, and confusion lumber, stagnate, or move through you like you’re a jar of molasses. That’s because the unwritten rules of friendship dictate that you shouldn’t feel this way. Friendship? It’s breezy. It’s trivial. You didn’t lose a family member. You didn’t split assets in a divorce. So why, then, is it consuming you? The message we get: There must be something terribly, terribly wrong with you (and you alone, loser, because no one else breaks up with their friends).

Let me disavow you of this unfortunate social script. First, every seven years, we lose half our friends. Second, according to Betrayal Trauma Theory, the impact of betrayal is not just determined by the act itself but by how........

© Psychology Today