Co-authored with Rachel Arment, JD, Texas attorney and former Army Judge Advocate and Military Prosecutor.

No one welcomes or invites domestic abuse. Certain life experiences may make a person less likely to recognize it. Our experience suggests that military training, along with childhood abuse, may prime people to suffer intimate partner abuse in silence.

“I can see how a military background, where their intention is to break you down, set me up to accept life with my husband. In bootcamp and as an enlisted person in the army, mistreatment was normal. I was expected to perform well under stress and duress. I did not have much of my identity or self-worth left. When I got together with my abuser, I felt a lot of pride and identity in helping him and his kids. I cooked elaborate meals, made his place into a home, and kept his house clean. I sucked it up when he was nasty, demanding, and unkind.” –A former military service member who became a victim of domestic abuse

Enlistees are generally quite young when they join the military. Their training and early service may be their first job, their first time away from home, and their first time out of the United States, if they ship out. These new experiences come with the expectation of total dedication. Employment is contracted rather than at will. Someone who is kicked out or who chooses to resign is seen as failing in the core values.

Military members face financial and other pressures to get and stay married. This can prompt quick marriages between two young people who barely know each other. The........

© Psychology Today