Excessively high standards aren't just unrealistic; they also become the foundation of a self that exists in stark contrast to one's aspiration.

Psychoanalyst Karen Horney called the process of implementing these exacting standards, "the tyranny of the shoulds." Having "shoulds," expectations for oneself and others, is normal, but those tendencies may become corrupted when failing to account for the limitations of each involved, instead conceiving of them as excuses. For the perfectionist, almost everything feels like an excuse, so he may seesaw between denial, becoming defensive and rebellious when asked to change, and obsession, desperately attempting to cultivate a flawless self. While the standards appear noble, and even beneficial in theory, through inspection, they betray the frailty of a less honorable human.

The individual preoccupied with "shoulds," possessing limited empathy for himself and others, is, temporarily, able to corral the internal tyrant and displace him. He learns to bludgeon his victims with his morality. So, paradoxically, he becomes worse as he becomes better. Many popular........

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