In Defense of the Try-Hard
Most of the time, I write about the drawbacks of perfectionism. Many of my posts are warnings against its ideals and excesses, reminders to not float too far off into space; otherwise, you may not return. The limits of a chronic and desperate need for control, the unwillingness to seriously consider alternative perspectives, and the frenzied attempts to ward off rejection are, hopefully, fairly obvious to those of you who consistently read my work. While we should try our best to remain tethered to reality and its actual possibilities, there are elements of perfectionism and obsessiveness, broadly, that can be helpful and, more importantly, meaningful. It depends on how they’re used and the underlying desires supporting them.
While I’m quick to stress the unlikelihood of deep personality change with patients and readers, I realize that it may aid readers to acknowledge the positive aspects of perfectionism. To be clear, I don’t mean this in a psychoanalytic sense, where I would trace these traits back to childhood to help the reader understand how these traits, at one point, supported survival but are now outdated. To the contrary, there’s something beautiful about perfectionism, which can be equally annoying. An unwillingness to accept defeat and the so-called “try-hard” personality clash with a culture that spotlights aloofness. It feels corny to love anything and to gush over it, especially if it isn’t in vogue. So, too often, the........
