It's nearly impossible to be in love and in control at the same time, for love requires a degree of humility that pride won't allow.

"Aren't I just being self-protective?" Therapists get this question all the time. And while the answer is generally yes, we may ask in turn, "But is it worth it?"

Some of us struggle with being in love because we can't really know which parts of ourselves to part with and which to stubbornly clutch to—but for perfectionists, who wish to keep their independence and supreme self-esteem intact (as it's incredibly fragile), love can be at once shameful and glorious, a means of resolving the problem of pride and weakness, of creating a way to have one's cake and eat it, too.

We don't want to be like those suckers who move across the country, give up their careers, or pour their hearts out. Yet we wish to be loved. By its nature, love is as embarrassing as it is corny. Love doesn't make us feel weak; rather, it........

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